By Robert Garner McBrearty     

My thoughts aren’t interesting lately, which wouldn’t be a problem except that I am paid to have interesting thoughts. Wilson, my boss, stops at my cubby today and hovers over me and says, What are you thinking this morning? Nothing, boss, just staring blankly. He makes a familiar kind of growling sound in his throat. That’s what happens, he says, the blankness, the staring, not many come back after that starts. Well, you’d better have some interesting thoughts soon, or I’ll have to let you go.

What would I do then, I wonder. I’ve been working here so long, I can hardly remember what came before. Long ago, I showed up at this office building and the boss, a burly man with a sweaty forehead, said What do you want?

I was told I could get paid if I had interesting thoughts.

He leaned challenging forward on his toes. Do you have interesting thoughts?

I do. Sometimes.

Tell me one.

I told him and he made that growly sound in his throat and pulled at a red tie around his thick neck. Well, barely interesting, but okay, take that cubby. I had to let someone go. He cried like a baby, but what can you do?

There are ten of us, each in a cubby, and we hardly speak to each other. We are all afraid that someone will criticize our thoughts or have a more interesting thought than our own. We work in a large, sparse, warehouse-like room with fluorescent lighting overhead. It might be easier to think in a more pleasant atmosphere, but the boss says he is old-school, meaning no-frills. You should be able to think anywhere, he says. Now and then his voice booms over an intercom: ARE WE THINKING TODAY? ARE WE REALLY THINKING? THINK, PEOPLE, THINK! Some days he shares thoughts of ours he finds especially insipid. Just how stupid is this? he might say.

Maria is young and dark-haired and she likes to stand and look out from her cubby, as I do too, and sometimes we smile at each other as if sharing a secret. She is rumored to have many interesting thoughts. The boss sometimes stands at her cubby and watches her think. I overheard her share a thought and he slapped his own head as if stunned and said, I wish I’d thought of that!

The days pass more or less the same, but one afternoon, the boss’s voice comes over the intercom and he sounds different, garbled, sad, as if he has been drinking. Instead of urging us to THINK, he says, What’s the point, people, what’s the point?  

I stand up. Everyone has stood up. For the first time I can remember, we are all standing at the same time and looking at each other. There is a loud sound like a microphone being dropped on a desk, but then nothing more. One by one, and then all at once, everyone sinks back into their cubbies, except for Maria and me. We stare at each other. For once, she doesn’t smile.  One of her eyebrows lifts nervously.

Things resume as usual, but not long after, as the day nears its end, the boss stops at my cubby and tells me to come into his office.  He sits at his desk and I stand.

Anything? he asks. Any interesting thoughts today?

I think of Maria, I say. I worry she will get old in this place. She will stop smiling. She will become more like the rest of us.

The growly sound starts in his throat but then stops. That’s always the danger. People should know that when they sign up. Really, I’ve kept you long past your prime. He sighs. You had real promise once. Most of your thoughts weren’t so hot, but now and then…

One more chance?

He sighs again. Yeah, okay, clock in tomorrow. Give it a go. There was a guy once, he stared blankly for six months, then he hollered like a man on fire and had one hell of a thought. So who knows?  

In the morning, I’m in my cubby, staring blankly, knowing it’s no use, when I feel a presence behind me. Maria puts a hand on my shoulder. She doesn’t exactly squeeze, but there is a light pressure there. Her hand sends a delicious tingle into my neck and the tingle travels to the top of my skull, little electric sparks lighting up.

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Robert Garner McBrearty is the author of six books, most recently the story collection The Problem You Have (University of New Mexico Press, 2025) which is a finalist for the Foreword Indies Book of the Year Award. His stories have appeared widely including in the Pushcart Prize, Missouri Review, New England Review and North American Review. Please visit www.robertgarnermcbrearty.com

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